


The Farm Fic

by CurrentlyObsessed



Category: Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance
Genre: Alternate Universe - Farm/Ranch, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-07
Updated: 2014-08-07
Packaged: 2018-02-12 04:20:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2095560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CurrentlyObsessed/pseuds/CurrentlyObsessed
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gerard was a cow. That’s kind of where it all starts.  I mean, he wasn’t at one point, but who gives a shit? You scared now, mutha fuckas, MOO MOO.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Farm Fic

Gerald sat in the field chewing on cud, and trying to ignore the flies swarming around his eyes. God knows he tried.

Suddenly Frank-Duck, who was technically a baby duck (So I guess he was a franklin) waddled the fuck up, and gave Gerard a damn good eye-peckin’.  
“MOOOO!” Gerard said angrily.

Frank quaked back contemptuously. Gerard shook his head  
*shake shake*.

Ray-Bull walked on over,

“Oi, what’s goin’ on ‘ere mates?” he asked, swinging his head around passionately, sending shit and small animals soaring out his unkempt Bull-Afro.  
Gerard and Frank-Duck stepped back.

“Oi” Gerard snorted angrily “Stop swingin’ your head around, ya paddy bastard!”

Ray-Bull stopped immediately, and hung his head in shame.

“Do you think I’ve disappointed the Queen?” he asked in a low voice.

Before Gerard or Frank could answer, the Queen of England ascended from the sky, with a pillow of thorns cushioning her descent.

“HOW NOW BROWN COW!?” the Queen bellowed, questioning the small bull before her.

Ray-Bull took a step back, insulted.

“I- I’m a bull” he said, his voice increasing in pitch. “Not a cow!”

Frank-Duck held back a laugh.

Gerard leaned close into Ray-Bull’s ear  
“Ooooh, you gon’ get it now. You gon’ get her Royale Scepter, right up your Bull-Ass ass”.

The Queen’s face darkened, her mouth forming into a thin line. She leaned her face close in with Ray-Bull’s.

“ **THOU HAST FORSAKKEN ME**!” the Queen screeched, and before Ray-Bull could react, she raised her hand and let down a stream of lightening.

Ray-Bull didn’t have a chance. His blood and guts littered the field, which had now turned dead and kind of shitty. The Queen gave a final nod to Gerard and Frank-Duck, before floating back into the clouds.  
Once the Queen was gone, Gerard turned to Frank-Duck and sighed.

“Should we have kinky sex in Ray-Bull’s blood?” Gerard asked, clearly aroused.

Frank-Duck shrugged in reply, but before they could get into anything, Patrick Stump-Goat and Pete the Sheep walked over and looked at the bloody-mess before them.  
Pete the Sheep looked at the bloody-mess and sighed.

“Looks like somebody had a Baaa-a-a-ad accident”.

Patrick Stump-Goat butted him in the butt, and looked over at Gerard and Frank-Duck with an apologetic smile.

“Sorry, he’s an ass-hole. Here, let us help you clean this up”.

Gerard and Frank-Duck looked at each other and shrugged. They didn’t want to have sex in the blood that bad.

“Sure” they replied.

Gerard and Frank-Duck took care of the blood, and Patrick Stump-Goat and Pete the sheep tackled the limbs.

As Patrick Stump-Goat tried to pick up Ray-Bulls head, it slipped out of his grip and sent the head tumbling a few feet ahead of him.

“Whoopsie- Daisey!” Patrick Stump-Goat exclaimed.

Pete the Sheep looked up at the pile of limbs he was stacking, and saw Patrick Stump-Goat staring at the head in front of him, and ran over to get it.

Patrick Stump-Goat smiled at him and retrieved the head from Pete the Sheep’s mouth.

“thanks pete” he said.

Suddenly, everything went still and there was a rumbling in the ground. The Queen of England appeared from the sky again, with an inverted cross painted on her forehead and a thousand black angles following behind her.

Gerard, Frank-Duck, and the Queen of England and her Thousand Young, all circled around Pete the Sheep and Patrick Stump-Goat.

Slowly, a small murmur spread around the group, growing louder and louder.

” _ **thanks pete**_ ” they all collectively chorused out.

Everyone melted.

 

 

~ _Le Fin_

**Author's Note:**

> To everyone one who is leaving kind comments...
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> Thanks.
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> Pete.


End file.
